“De nigger woman is de mule uh de world so far as Ah can see.” Nanny to Janie in “Their Eyes Were Watching God” by Zora Neale Hurston
This post will be the last of it’s kind for a while. The cathartic kind where I express and explain myself. As a young Black woman coming to terms with my place in the world and where I want to go, there were a few lessons I learned along the way where the messages I read in previous works started to become quite clear. I have shared quite a few in this space.
However, this year I saw new trends in my life that I decided to completely nip in the bud.
- Strangers and acquaintances asking for free labor from me, with no talk of compensation
- Anger when I don’t explain my humanity and put my trauma on the table for a white person’s “teaching moment”.
- Anger when I dare say “no”.
- Others viewing my explanations or demeanor around social justice as “entertainment” and approached as amusing Netflix specials.
- Accused of treachery when I didn’t cape [advocate] for people who clearly view me as an inferior person.
- Accused of being “close minded” for not surrounding myself with people with “different viewpoints” on something as basic as my humanity.
- Hyper-visibility when I meet a defined Black woman stereotype others recognize and no visibility when I step outside of that box. Overall still not being seen as a person either way.
Should I provide explanation on why these trends are complete and total bullshit? No. I don’t even have the energy to write that out anymore. Nor do I feel like it. If you don’t get what I am talking about there are well written books on all of those topics of Black womanhood. Go read and do the intellectual work I had to accomplish. As I get older I understand why older activists in some realms have taken the path they did. The reactive space is a tiring one and it’s filled with people who want to take all of your energy just so you can waste it on them. They don’t actually want to learn from you. They’d rather stress you out and continue to parrot harassing sentiments. On social media and real life. I bring up both because when I end up getting rape threats for a blog post, no I can’t just brush it off and say “it’s just Twitter”.
However I have found peace with the proactive space. I noticed that has been a much less toxic arena for me. I will engage in that for 2016 from now on. I started already this year and last to be honest, but decided to write this as an affirmation.
So if you come to this blog a lot the content will be sparse from here on out. I never considered myself to be a talented writer, but I wrote until it was enough for me. Now for the next phase of my life. I will be posting reading lists that I curate and whatever new projects come to mind.
Thank you to those who gave readership and positive feedback.
To the next year.